‘Yes …’

‘How are you today?’

‘Fine thank you, but look …’

‘I’m fine.’ (I didn’t ask.)

‘Ms Eddin, I am calling you from Heart of the [...]]]> I hate those phone calls that begin ‘Hallo, is that Ms …’ (pause, while salesperson grapples with the pronunciation of ‘Eden’) ‘Eddin?’

‘Yes …’

‘How are you today?’

‘Fine thank you, but look …’

‘I’m fine.’ (I didn’t ask.)

‘Ms Eddin, I am calling you from Heart of the Home to give you the good news that you are a winner.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘Fantastic, isn’t it?’

‘No; I really don’t believe you. What are you trying to sell me?’

‘Nothing! You have been selected to receive an inflatable mattress worth R300!’

‘Really? How was I selected?’

‘Your cell phone number came up in a random draw.’

‘You mean you picked it off some data base that you managed to buy.’

‘Well, whatever … the thing is, you are a winner!’

‘And when will I be receiving my prize?’

‘You just have to give us your details and it will be sent to you by courier.’

‘I know where your warehouse is. I’d prefer to come and pick it up.’

‘What? Oh no, it doesn’t work like that. We have a contract with the courier company. You definitely can’t come and fetch it.’

‘And does Heart of the Home pay the courier charges?’

‘For as little as R100 we will deliver it to your door, Ms Eddin!’

‘Ah ha. So you are asking me to pay a third of the value of an item I don’t really need, in return for all my particulars so that you can bother me again with more trumped-up “specials”. It’s not actually much of a prize, is it?’

‘No’, he sighs, ‘it’s not.’

He brightens when I tell him I’m going to write about this kind of telephonic harassment.

‘Really? My name is Thulani – put me in the story. Maybe I’ll be famous!’

Here’s your five seconds of fame, Thulani, and the good news that you have been selected to receive some free career advice: get out of that dead-end job as soon as you can. What? You want more than that? No, no, no, Thulani; it doesn’t work that way. However, I’m willing to upgrade your prize if you subscribe to my Really Useful Newsletter … Hallo? Thulani? Thought so.

By Catherine Eden

Before Alice (57) leaves the kitchen, she goes through a complicated process of checking and [...]]]> Even though they are aware that their behaviour is strange, people who suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) have an overwhelming urge to repeat certain rituals to reduce their anxiety. What do we know about this stressful condition?

By Catherine Eden

Before Alice (57) leaves the kitchen, she goes through a complicated process of checking and rechecking that all the appliances and switches are off. John (28) can’t get out of bed unless the numbers on his digital clock add up to a ‘safe’ total; he also has to tap the table a set number of times to make sure that bad things don’t happen to his family. Megan (12) washes her hands repeatedly and if anyone touches her soap it must be thrown away.

They all have OCD, a condition that causes untold stress and shame to the sufferers who can’t stop their behaviour, even though they know it’s not normal. In the past, bizarre rituals associated with OCD have at times been misdiagnosed as schizophrenia.The difference, however, is that the schizophrenic sees nothing odd about his actions, whereas the person with OCD is painfully aware of them.

‘It can take years for OCD sufferers to seek help, as they tend to hide their problems,’ says Dr Peter Crafford, a psychiatrist at the specialised mental health unit at Life Hunterscraig Private Hospital in Port Elizabeth. ‘OCD is all about struggling for control over obsessional thoughts and the impulse to perform compulsive behaviours. People with the disorder are reluctant to give over control to a drug or a doctor. Many never get treated. Those that do come to a facility like ours are often seeking help for depression. As 50% of depressions are bipolar, it’s imperative that patients are properly assessed so that they can receive the right treatment. If there is an underlying psychiatric illness, the drugs that are usually used to treat OCD can make that illness worse.’

Obsessions and compulsions

A person with OCD is obsessed with a thought, image, impulse or phrase that is intrusive, involuntary and anxiety-producing, explains Kevin Bolon, a Johannesburg clinical psychologist with a special interest in the disorder. The compulsion is the action, performed voluntarily, that reduces the anxiety associated with the obsession. The trouble is that the obsessive thought keeps reoccurring, so the activity that brings momentary relief has to be repeated, over and over again.

Sixty percent of OCD patients have a washing compulsion says Bolon. Other common compulsions are to symmetrise objects, check or touch something a set number of times. Sometimes compulsions can’t be observed – they may be repetitive sayings – and sometimes they take the form of avoidance of words, images or places. They are often associated with ‘magical thinking’, as in, ‘if I switch the light on and off 10 times the children will be safe today, but if I get it wrong, there may be an accident.’

When is it a habit and when is it OCD?

If you live a frenetic life, it’s not surprising that you are occasionally distracted or forgetful. Running late for work you leave the house on autopilot, your head already buzzing with what must be done later. As you drive off you realise you don’t remember locking the door, or switching off the iron after you pressed your shirt … you’re pretty sure you did but you feel compelled to go back to check anyway, berating yourself for being neurotic and wasting more precious time.

This kind of anxiety is not unnatural, once in a while, neither are the quirks and habitual behaviours that most people have. The key question in deciding whether you have OCD is to ask how much time your rituals take up and how much they interfere with your ability to function normally. Do you spend more than an hour each day performing some activity that soothes your anxiety? Does this habit impact significantly on your relationships, you ability to study, work, or do your chores?

‘Obsessionality is a personality trait,’ explains Dr Crafford. ‘It only becomes a psychiatric disorder when it results in dysfunction and distress.’

What causes OCD?

OCD is a neurobiological disorder that manifests as a conditioned thought, linked to soothing compensatory action. It’s not known what causes it ,but there is evidence that genetics play a part.

‘Children of an OCD parent have an increased but modest risk of developing the disorder,’ says Professor Christine Lochner, a clinical psychologist who heads research into OCD at the MRC Unit on Anxiety and Stress Disorder at the Department of Psychiatry, Stellenbosch University.’ And there are other contributing factors, including emotional trauma, head trauma, and immunological influences. For example, research over the last few years shows that patients with an active or prior history of rheumatic fever often present with OCD and related disorders.’

The earlier OCD occurs, the more likely it is genetically influenced, explains Bolon. Although the disorder can appear after a traumatic event or serious infection, it seems that these influences trigger rather than cause OCD. The underlying propensity for the condition must be there first; the trauma then tips the scales so that the disorder kicks in. It follows, therefore, that the more stressed we become as a society, the more we will see of OCD and related disorders.

Can it becured?

OCD can’t be cured, but it can and should be controlled, as it becomes worse if it is left untreated. Obsessive negative thinking leads to more anxiety, which leads to more and more compensatory compulsive behaviour, which consumes more hours in the day.

Digging in the past for an emotional explanation for OCD doesn’t help, seeing that it probably triggered rather than caused the problem.’ We know from experience and research evidence that types of therapy, like psycho-dynamic therapy, aimed at going back in history to find an original cause of the OCD aren’t helpful,’ says Prof Lochner. ‘The compulsion is easier to tackle, since the time spent doing it or the places it occurs are measurable and can be monitored and controlled.’

What is the treatment?

People with OCD generally need more of the neurotransmitter serotonin. Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) boost serotonin levels and reduce anxiety and the frequency of the obsessional thought. Cognitive behaviour therapy, meanwhile, focuses on how the thought drives the action. The person is exposed to stimuli that trigger the obsession (the intrusive thoughts) which then presents the urge to do the compulsive activity that will relieve the anxiety. Then the person is encouraged to resist the behaviour. In this way, new habits are formed and the brain becomes reprogrammed.

‘The optimum treatment for OCD seems to be medication – the right SSRIs in the right dose, for a long enough period – combined with cognitive behaviour therapy,’ says Prof Lochner. ‘However, OCD patients are often treatment-resistant (only 40-60% respond to the first line of treatment) so other options must often be tried – the individual might need a different drug, a higher dose, or augmentation with other medication.’

‘I’d recommend a psychiatric assessment first,’ says D rCrafford, ‘to identify what the patient is dealing with. Treatment can then be tailored to the individual, targeting the most pressing issue.’

Is there hope?

Absolutely, say the experts. People with OCD can learn to manage their condition and live healthy and productive lives. ‘They need not fear that they are giving up control by seeking help,’ says Dr Crafford. ‘Treatment empowers them to cope.’ By talking about the disorder rather than hiding it, they can also educate others, who may be inclined to bandy the term about indiscriminately.

Good family relations play an important role, so those closest to the person with OCD should not be ashamed to ask for information and support.

Contact SADAG (South African Depression and AnxietyGroup) at 0800708090 or visit www.sadag.co.za

For information about free evaluations, referrals and a support group in Cape Town, contact Prof Lochner at 0219389179. See also www.ownocd.ning.com

FYI

Do shopaholics have OCD?

No. Compulsive shopping is an impulse-control disorder, like excessive gambling. People with impulse-control disorders may also have severe anxiety and avoidance issues, but their behaviour gives them a high – a sense of gratification – whereas the compulsive behaviour associated with OCD is to reduce anxiety around a negative situation o rthought.

What is Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder?

Unlike people with OCD who suffer from their problem and want to be rid of it, people with OCPD feel that they are doing things right and that others are wrong. OCPD is not about obsessive thoughts, but rigid rules. ‘This personality disorder is characterised by a preoccupation with details, lists, orderliness, perfectionism and mental and interpersonal control at the expense of flexibility and openness,’ explains Prof Lochner. ‘These people are obsessed with being perfect in their professional and personal lives and they aren’t keen to change, even if their ways have a negative impact on their partners or house mates. They often don’t realise they have a problem until it causes conflict in relationships or they get “burnt out” from their attempts to control every aspect of their lives.’

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a complicated name for a complicated condition that is affecting more and more children. What do you do if your child is one of them?

Four-year-old Dale* is the ‘difficult’ child in the family. He’s always in trouble, both at home and at his preschool, where he [...]]]> Wild child

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a complicated name for a complicated condition that is affecting more and more children. What do you do if your child is one of them?

Four-year-old Dale* is the ‘difficult’ child in the family. He’s always in trouble, both at home and at his preschool, where he is frequently separated from the other children because he is disruptive and aggressive. For a long time his parents tried to justify his behaviour: he’s the middle child; he’s had repeated ear and throat infections; he was the one most upset by moving house recently. But these things don’t account for his consistently worrying symptoms: Dale is unnaturally restless and easily distracted. He can’t finish tasks, he doesn’t listen to instructions or obey rules. He can be sweet and loving one minute and throw a spectacular temper tantrum the next. Dale’s parents recently acknowledged that their child needs help, but they are overwhelmed by the confusing array of disorders he could be suffering from. Does he have learning difficulties, ADD, ADHD, Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome? On the advice of Dale’s teacher they have made appointments with an educational psychologist and a paediatrician. The long road to diagnosing what’s wrong with their son has begun.

When is it ADHD?

ADHD is one of the conditions on the Autism spectrum, which encompasses a range of disorders from profound disability to high-functioning savant ability at the Asperger’s end of the scale. There is a degree of overlapping between the disorders; for example, 40% of children diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome also meet the criteria for ADHD, which has three defining characteristics: inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

However, a child with ADHD may not exhibit all of these symptoms. A multi-disciplinary team at the Behavioural Neurotherapy Clinic in Doncaster, UK, describes the subtypes of the disorder as mainly inattentive (the child is forgetful and distracted), mainly impulsive and hyperactive (the child fidgets, walks around in class, talks incessantly, has trouble taking turns) and a form that combines these symptoms. The condition first occurs before the age of seven and should be noticeable in different settings (at home, at school and in public) for a period of at least six months. It should be severe enough to have affected family life and the child’s ability to function normally at school and in social situations.

A diagnosis of ADHD is made only when physical and emotional explanations have been ruled out. Illness, food intolerance or a reaction to medication will affect a child’s behaviour, as will trauma and depression. It is important to eliminate these factors before labelling strange behaviour ‘ADHD’ as the drugs used to control the disorder can make undiagnosed physical and emotional conditions worse.

Despite all these checks and balances, ADHD is still very difficult to pinpoint as it so often goes hand in hand with other disabilities. There may be learning difficulties, particularly in language, reading and maths. Also, because they experience so much rejection, these children frequently suffer from a great deal of worry and anxiety; they may have low self-esteem, weight issues and sleep disturbances. Emotional distress as a result of the ADHD then adds to the child’s problems.

What causes it?

‘Over the last 20 years, ADHD has increased by over 400% to become the most prevalent childhood neurological disorder in South Africa,’ says Hannah Kaye, a nutritional therapist and Defeat Autism Now! (DAN!) clinician who practises in Johannesburg and Cape Town. ‘It’s not something you can diagnose by running a test; it’s a number of symptoms that occur in a particular combination.’

There is some debate as to whether it is a psychiatric or a neurological problem. Qualitative EEG brain scanning technology that uses colour gradations can pick up the differences between ADHD and learning difficulties. According to the Doncaster group, an ADHD brain produces too many theta waves and not enough beta waves – an imbalance that neurotherapy can help to correct.

But there are other possible causes for ADHD. It has been linked to lead toxicity and also to bacterial imbalances in the gut. A study by the University of Pittsburg School of Medicine found a connection between childhood abdominal pain and the development later in life of anxiety, depression and migraine. In a similar study, the Mount Sinai Medical Department of Psychiatry in New York found that 70 – 90% of patients with irritable bowel or leaky gut syndrome also suffered from anxiety and depression. As the bacterial balance in the gut was restored, symptoms of anxiety, irritability and temper decreased.

Just as there is no single definition for ADHD, it is also not possible to identify a single cause. But the rapid rise of the disorder suggests that we should pay attention to modern-day environmental and nutritional factors that might be contributing to its prevalence.

What are the treatment options?

Drugs such as Ritalin stimulate the brain’s production of dopamine, which is thought to be low in ADHD. Some children do better on medication – it stabilises them and enables them to cope at school – but other children don’t react well. As with most drugs, there are side effects: growth, sleep and appetite can be affected and the gut can be irritated, which makes it all the more crucial to establish the health of the digestive tract early on. While improving mood and behaviour, the medication could aggravate undiagnosed digestive problems.

Conduct disorders can’t only be treated with drugs, say the Doncaster team. Short-term stimulant drug therapy has its place, but metabolic causes, brainwave abnormalities and behavioural issues must also be addressed. Nutritional supplementation (particularly Omega 3 essential fatty acids) and neurotherapy support the brain, after which cognitive behaviour therapy can help the child to control his actions.

‘As you’d expect, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for ADHD,’ says Hannah Kaye, ‘and treatment also depends on the route the parents want to take. They are stressed and exhausted so it’s natural that they would want a diagnosis and a quick fix. Medication can help, but it manages the symptoms of the disorder without necessarily addressing its causes, which is why I favour a biomedical approach. The family history is considered; blood, stool and allergy tests are done. The aim is to reduce environmental toxins; treat fungal, viral, bacterial or parasitic infections and make dietary changes that will support the child’s overall health. Without the right nutrients, the body can’t protect itself.’

Navigating the minefield

Unfortunately, ADHD goes hand in hand with food fads and fussy eating. ‘I can appreciate that the last thing parents want to deal with at the end of the day is a fight about food,’ says Kaye. ‘All the same, a diet high in carbohydrates and sugar is going to make things worse.’

Eczema, ear infections and tummy aches indicate allergies or imbalances that need investigation. One option is to try a strict elimination diet to identify what the child is sensitive to. ‘The most common culprits are gluten, soy, caffeine, corn and sugar’, says Kaye, ‘but some children are also affected by a natural compound found in apples, which comes as depressing news to parents who rely on the trusty apple to deliver a daily dose of vitamins.’

There are several diet plans that have been found to be helpful in managing ADHD, but you have to experiment to find the one that is right for your child. It takes time, money and commitment, but with professional help it’s possible to find a nutritional programme that works. Generally, it involves a significant reduction of sugar (including fruit) and the introduction of good quality protein and lots of vegetables.

Good nutrition is the basis for good health and can only benefit the ADHD child, but the chances are that it will take the expertise of several health practitioners to tailor a treatment plan that is really effective for you child. An accurate diagnosis is the first essential, and for that an educational psychologist, psychiatrist or paediatrician should be consulted. Thereafter, a nutritional therapist and occupational therapist can offer practical advice for managing the condition.

ADHD takes a toll on family life, on the parents’ relationship, energy and resources. So it is important to find a support group with whom you can share information and encouragement. If it is left untreated, ADHD sufferers can be drawn into antisocial or dangerous activities and substance abuse. But with the right help, they can live productive, creative, satisfying lives.

www.autism.com

www.autismistreatable.co.za

This article was published in Reality Magazine

Creative writing: 04, 11, 18, 25 June (7.15 – 9.45pm)

Fiction writing: 04, 11, 18 May (9.15 – 11.45am)

Workshop: Writing for publication: 25 May (9.15 – 11.45am)

Journal writing for self awareness: 01, 08, 15, 22 June (9.15 – 11.45am)

Outliers: The story of success by Malcolm Gladwell (Allen Lane)

What is it that makes some people famous and successful, [...]]]> Non-fiction choices this month: the story of success and the art of happiness. While success doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness, acquiring the art of being happy could be seen as the greatest of all human achievements.

Outliers: The story of success by Malcolm Gladwell (Allen Lane)

What is it that makes some people famous and successful, and others not? Why did the Beatles stand out from hundreds of other promising bands that never caught the world’s attention? How did Bill Gates get where he did, ahead of countless other brilliant techno-geeks? Is phenomenal success the triumph of exceptional talent over impossible odds? Malcolm Gladwell suggests that ability alone is not enough. To be an ‘outlier’ – someone whose star-studded path lies way outside normal experience – you need help, opportunity and a dollop of sheer luck.

‘What is the question we always ask about the successful? We want to know what they are like – what kind of personalities they have, how intelligent they are, or what kind of lifestyles they have, or what special talents they might have been born with. And we assume that it is those personal qualities that explain how that individual reached the top…

‘In Outliers I want to convince you that these personal explanations of success don’t work. People don’t rise from nothing. We do owe something to parentage and patronage. The people who stand before kings may look like they did it all by themselves. But in fact they are invariably the beneficiaries of hidden advantages and extraordinary opportunities and cultural legacies that allow them to learn and work hard and make sense of the world in ways others cannot.

‘It makes a difference when and where we grew up. The culture we belong to and the legacies passed down by our forebears shape the patterns of our achievement is ways we cannot begin to imagine. It’s not enough to ask what successful people are like, in other words. It is only by asking where they are from that we can unravel the logic behind who succeeds and who doesn’t.’

Gladwell takes the Beatles, Gates and others in turn, describing the fortuitous twists of fate that brought them to greatness. He shows how Gates’ age and physical location primed his success; he explains why most Canadian hockey stars have birthdays in the first quarter of the year, and why October-born players are doomed not to make the grade; he analyses the events that made the Beatles a legend. Passion for a chosen field is only part of the success equation. Hard work – 10,000 hours of it, in fact – is what makes you shine, plus the hand of destiny putting you in the right place at the right time, activating the alchemy of success.

‘Superstar lawyers and math whizzes and software entrepreneurs appear at first blush to lie outside ordinary experience,’ Gladwell writes. ‘But they don’t. They are products of history and community, of opportunity and legacy. Their success is not exceptional or mysterious. It is grounded in a web of advantages and inheritances, some deserved, some not, some earned, some just plain lucky – but all critical to making them who they are. The outlier, in the end, is not an outlier at all.’

This is a fascinating and revealing read, making you wonder if fame is a random stroke of luck or the grand design of some people’s lives. It makes you aware of timing, synchronicity, the need to be alert to your own windows of opportunity, and the power of choice that allows each of us to direct the quality, if not the notoriety, of our days.

The Art of Happiness by HH Dalai Lama and Howard C Cutler (Coronet)

This book is 10 years old, but its message is eternal. It grew out of conversations between Cutler, and American psychiatrist steeped in the Western medical model, and the Dalai Lama, whose view of mankind is informed by a 2 500-year-old spiritual tradition that holds that happiness is a matter of training the mind. ‘Mind’ in this context means more than cognitive ability or intellect; the DL uses it in the sense of the Tibetan word Sem, which includes intellect and feeling; heart and mind.

The purpose of our lives is to seek happiness, he says; happiness having more to do with peace of mind than material forms of success. We achieve it by deliberately selecting and focusing on positive mental states and eliminating negative mental states. That’s all it takes; gradually, we retrain the mind and develop inner calm and contentment that sees us through the ups and downs of life.

It sounds simplistic, but it’s a discipline that works. Since he was four years old, the Dalai Lama has been practising techniques of detachment, acceptance, humility and compassion. He describes himself as a happy person, despite the heartache and persecution he has endured.
Happiness is a habit; through training we can transform ourselves. (Malcolm Gladwell would agree – this is the spiritual version of 10,000 hours of music practice turning you into a concert pianist.) The brain designs new combinations of nerve cells and neurotransmitters in response to new input. ‘In fact, our brains are malleable,’ writes Cutler, ‘ever changing, reconfiguring their wiring according to new thoughts and experiences.’ This has profound implications for our health and wellbeing: although scientists think we have an inherited baseline of happiness, we now know that we can improve it. Happiness is a choice: what we choose to focus on becomes our dominant state.

How do we suppress negative thinking? By keeping the ego in check, by avoiding comparisons that make us dissatisfied, by challenging fear, and by silencing the destructive voice of the inner critic who sabotages our creative efforts. Our positive mental states are enhanced by affection, friendship and compassion, says the DL. To be of value, we must cultivate the qualities of warmth and kindness; then our lives become meaningful, peaceful, happier. Then we have achieved success in the true sense of the word.

By Catherine Eden

He’s lean, dark and wizardly, with bright eyes and [...]]]> Words like ‘driven’ and ‘dynamo’ don’t come close to describing behavioural specialist Dr John Demartini, who travels, teaches, writes, designs programmes and frets that he’s going to run out of time before all his dreams are realised.

By Catherine Eden

He’s lean, dark and wizardly, with bright eyes and an attractively kinked nose. But the too-regular teeth and hair that’s naturally too dark for his 54 years suggest not only that he’s packaged for a critical public but that he’s been, well, modified. Call me fanciful, but it’s easier to imagine stainless steel under his impeccable dark suit than it is to imagine flesh and bone.

He keeps his jacket on, despite the heat. He doesn’t sweat. I imagine his internal combustion makes every drop of liquid evaporate. The man is a walking cauldron of knowledge, ideas, sound bites, strategies. He has designed more than 70 courses; among them a 21-year programme. Where does he find the time, given his relentless schedule? It’s odd, that’s what it is; intriguing, but odd.

This is someone who has an institute in his name; whose ‘method’ is applied by psychologists, educators, strategists and leaders. He has received the highest accolades, has entrance to the most rarefied environments, and with more than 40 books published in 21 different languages, he has a body of work that would make most full-time writers reel.

No-one would have predicted Demartini’s phenomenal success. He had a hard time as a boy; physical disability and learning problems led to the assumption that he’d never amount to much. At 14 he dropped out of school and went to California to surf. But three years later an unexpected encounter with a 93-year-old man, Paul Bragg, fired his enthusiasm to conquer his difficulties, get an education and make a difference in the world. He became absorbed by the exploration of human potential, the activation of leadership and the empowerment of individuals. He’d found his mission and his life’s work had begun.

‘Is there any topic you can’t talk about?’ I ask him, and he answers at once, ‘Cooking, driving and cell phones. I’ve never had one.’

What? I return to the fantasy that he’s not entirely human. Perhaps he has a chip that sends communications directly to his brain. I switch to a topic on which I am ready to do battle: The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, in which Demartini features prominently, is a little too materialistic for my liking. How will manifesting a dream car promote your spiritual growth? While it may be possible to create the physical things we want, should we not be focusing on the more abstract things that we need?

He leans forward and the words come tumbling out. ‘Yes, it’s unfortunate that the idea that you can “get stuff” was selected to catch the attention of the public. There is more to it, of course.’ (I’m happy to hear this.)

‘Receiving without giving will never satisfy you and will keep you from growing. But if you constantly do for others you risk robbing them of their dignity, accountability, responsibility and productivity. You end up surrounded by needy, dependent people. But giving service willingly, and being equally willing to receive, sets people free. A fair exchange empowers both sides.’

Challenges help you to grow, says Demartini. ‘If everyone supports you and never challenges you, you stay shrunk. You land up seeing a shrink. I’d rather be stretched.

‘Do I still face challenges? Of course I do. I worry about getting all the dreams implemented. I started the school in 1982 and the institute was formally set up in 2005. There are lots of people involved, but still, there’s so much I want to achieve.’

To get it all done, Demartini travels constantly. He has homes around the world, including an apartment on the private cruise ship, ‘The World’, but he doesn’t live in them.

‘Don’t you sometimes want to sit in a rocking chair, admiring the view?’

‘You’re describing my idea of death’, he answers.

‘So where is the place that feels like home?’

‘The universe is my playground, the world is my home, every country is a room in my house, and every city is a platform from which to share my heart and soul.’

That sounds too practised for my liking, so I persist: ‘Well, where do you keep your clothes?’

‘In two bags; they are with me.’

Oh my. I realise that his publicist wasn’t joking when she said he hates Christmas day because it’s a day he can’t work. ‘This is a man whose vocation has become his vacation,’ she said. ‘He would prefer it if he never had to sleep.’ I know I’m imposing my values, but I think the poor man needs more picnics.

His three children, aged 24, 21 and 18, are in the US. His wife, well-known astrologer, Athena Starwoman, died of breast cancer almost five years ago. He’s comfortable with her astrology and reveals that he is a triple Sagittarian, which explains his love for learning and his tendency to zoom about the planet.

‘Would you be classified as having attention deficit disorder if you were a child today?’ I ask.

‘Everyone has attention, intention and retention deficit disorder for the things that don’t particularly interest them, and a surplus condition for the things that do,’ he answers.’

I ask Demartini whether he believes in God.

‘I do not belong to any particular religion and I don’t pray “Dear God, please make such and such happen”, because I don’t promote the idea of an anthropomorphised God with whom I have a parent-child relationship. I do believe in a true order, a beautiful cosmic intelligence, so my form of prayer is to sit in gratitude, in acknowledgement of this intelligence as it is expressed throughout nature.

‘We are not supposed to be fully enlightened beings; we are earthlings learning and evolving.

But while we are here we must do the work. Any area in your life that you don’t empower is an area in which you will be overpowered. It’s not wise to either exaggerate our importance or minimise our worth. The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of the questions that we ask. Gradually, we liberate ourselves from the bondage of our illusions and inspire our lives.’

We have only an hour to talk, and there is so much to ask. Demartini is in great demand and I realise that I’m very small potatoes compared to the top flight delegations he’s used to meeting. But I am looking for the real man and not the celebrity, and I think he appreciates that. When the interview is over he gives me a hug and I find myself patting him in a motherly way, telling him to take care; get some rest. I’d like to take him to the beach, sit him on a rock and challenge him to say nothing at all, but it might be the death of him and I don’t want that on my conscience.

Demartini’s top tips for living longer

• Eat less, and choose whole, quality foods. Supplementation has a place as soil becomes depleted.

• Six forms of exercise are recommended: walking, climbing hills or stairs, swimming, dancing, yoga/ t’ai chi and lovemaking.

• Create wealth. Higher socio-economic brackets are associated with longevity.

• Have a life mission. Congruency between goals and values promotes health and wellbeing.

• Practise moderation. Longevity is inversely proportional to volatility and extremism.

• Develop the ability to modify and balance perceptions. Stress is the inability to adjust to a changing environment.

• Believe in a higher order and live for a higher purpose.

Published in Femina Magazine, March 2010

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